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The Lies I tell my Husband

It is no secret that Darren and I end up spending a lot of time together. I mean, yes, we’re married but we also both work from home, so we are always in each other’s space. A lot of people ask us about spending 24/7 together – it’s an odd question and we wouldn’t have it any other way – but I’d like to think that we balance each other out in all aspects of life. However, today I am sharing some of the lies I tell my husband… I know, scandalous! But seriously, these had me giggling.

“I’d never eat your chocolate.”
I did. I do. I am sorry.

“I never misplace things.”
I always do. In fact, right now, I’m thinking of what I might have misplaced because I can’t think of anything which makes me believe that I’ve misplaced something and am yet to remember that it’s missing.

“I didn’t put it in a silly place.”
It wasn’t silly at the time; I knew it needed to be kept safe, so I put it in a safe place… And then forgot where that is.

“No, I didn’t just make coffee for myself… It’s Med-Lemon.”
It was coffee, I’m just so used to you saying no to coffee, that I assumed you didn’t want right now either.

“I didn’t just fall asleep and snore myself awake while staying up to watch series with you. “
I promise I make these sounds periodically and its completely normal but also… I’m just SO tired.

“I’m putting the baby to sleep.”
I mean, technically I WAS just putting him to sleep, and if I get up right now, he’ll surely wake up.

“I’m just going into the shop for one thing.”
It’s never one thing. Ever.

“I’ll just be 5 minutes.”
I mean, it’ll probably take 5 minutes to decide on the lipstick shade I’m wearing, so there’s definitely 5 minutes, but I’ll likely be awhile so perhaps play a game or two of FIFA.

“Yes, I just saw that on TV.”
Please just pretend like you didn’t see me sitting on my phone this entire time.

“I’ve run out of face masks and need this one… or two.”
I haven’t but I reaallllly need this one!

“I didn’t just pick my face”
I KNOW it’s a bad habit and you’re just looking out for me, but I can’t help it. It just happens!

“I am always right.”
I mean, I am mostly right but you have your moments too.

“What would you do without me?”
The real question is, what would I do without you?!

I think that’s about it (she types while scoffing your chocochino Kit-Kat that you bought yesterday.) Thanks for putting up with me – I love your face meat very much.

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