12 Mar How to Make Time for Intimacy after Child-Birth
New moms often struggle to find the time and drive to get intimate with their partner after childbirth. In fact, it is what inspired this series in the first place – all moms are struggling with it, but no one feels confident enough to speak about it. The pressure can seem overwhelming, especially when driven by hormonal changes, pain, discomfort, finding the time, and figuring out your new role as a mom.
So, as a new mom, where DO you find the time for you and your partner between the nappy-changes, nap times, laundry, dishes, and cooking?
Make a Schedule
I know it sounds crazy – scheduling sex – but we often get so caught up in everything else that needs to be done, that before long, it’s been weeks since you’ve last had some quality time with your partner. A shared Google calendar is not only convenient for reminding your partner to pick up milk on his drive home, but also allows you to schedule one-on-one time. Having a date marked on the calendar gives you both something to look forward to and gives you some time to prepare by getting a sitter, or family member to watch the kids while you catch up on everything outside your role as parents, smooch and reconnect.
When I first announced this series on my blog, SO many moms commented and emailed saying that they’re just too tired to have sex. As much as I know it isn’t always possible, it’s important to remember to rest when your baby takes a nap. Being tired and stressed out will affect your sex-drive which can lead to your own frustration when your husband is in the mood, but you aren’t. Self-care should be a priority and while sleep may seem like the last thing on your never-ending to-do list, it’s vitally important for your own health and wellbeing as it affects everything you do.
As much as a scheduled date-night might be in order, it isn’t always possible especially when you are relying on friends and family to babysit. But who is to say you can’t have a little fun? Sneaking off to another room (maybe one that isn’t a bedroom?) can keep things fun and exciting, while the rush of not getting caught by the kids adds to the anticipation.
Know Your Baby’s Sleep Pattern
Perhaps one of the best things that I have learnt is taking note of when my baby typically takes a nap and for how long. It might not be down to the minute, but I roughly know what to expect from a typical day. This has helped navigate when I will get the most work down, when to do household chores and when I will be able to spend some time with my husband without any interruptions.
Do Oral Sex
Even if all the stars align; your baby is napping, you are well-rested, and your to-do list is under control, the hormonal changes experienced post-partum can lower your sex-drive. Moms are constantly setting the highest expectations of themselves trying to juggle it all, so it can become a sore or even breaking point when you’re wanting to reconnect with your partner, but your body won’t let you. Oral sex and giving your husband pleasure is sometimes easier than sex, especially if you’re experiencing discomfort or pain during sexual intercourse. In fact, oral sex can be just as fun and exciting!
If you’re wanting to spice things up and have more fun exploring oral sex, April’s Oh-Box is not to be missed! The theme is “Cookies and Cream… Eat me!” And promises to be a treat that you and your partner are sure to enjoy. You can expect a box filled with 5 – 8 items including at least 1 adult sex toy and accessories, accompanied by a selection of either massage candles, oils, lubricants, games, and other tasteful adult novelty items.
Oh-Box is a uniquely curated subscription box, with a different theme each month, giving you and your partner something to look forward to. The box includes everything you need to spice up your sex life, treats for a date night, or a little something to fulfil your own hidden fantasies and try something new.
Want to treat yourself and your partner to a subscription to Oh-Box? Go to their website and place your order before the 15th of March to receive your “Cookies and Cream… Eat Me!” box by the 10th of next month. Remember to follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and sign up to their newsletter for special offers.
Don’t forget to make your marriage a priority. Your children are certainly gifts but remember why you and your partner got together in the first place. Make the effort to keep the spark alive, by having date nights and reconnecting with your partner outside your roles as parents.
I am the creator behind By Megan Kelly, mom of two boys, named Axl (4-years old) and Eli (1-year old), and local business owner of Dr. Design. I live on copious amounts of coffee, spend my free time listening to podcasts while I garden or journal, and really enjoy baking fresh treats for my family. On the weekends, you’ll likely find me exploring our local city, looking for new family-friendly places for our kids, but that’s only if I am not already shouting at the soccer on TV. I support Tottenham and enjoy pretending to know what I am doing in the Fantasy League, but really I am just in it for the laughs. I can be bribed with chocolate and will never admit to having too much makeup – although, I probably do.