12 May Life Lately: 12 May
I haven’t done one of my ‘What’s up and happening‘ posts in a very long while. Those posts are usually the ones where I highlight Axl’s latest milestones and what he has been up to. But in a recent post, a few of you reached out saying how you liked getting to know the blogger behind the blog – so we’ll be changing a few things up by sharing more about life lately…
My mom is visiting next week! For those of you who don’t already know – my mom lives in Jo’burg with her fiancé. She visits around every 3 months, for big occasions like Axl’s birthday, my sister’s birthday and my birthday. I adore having her here, no matter how short, we eat good food, catch-up and everything feels the way it should be.
But this time…
Things are different and her visit is both a celebration but also a sore spot.
My dad, Luis, has been transferred to Cape Town, at the end of the month, and is taking my sister with him. Despite always moving around, my dad has been the one place that I have always known I could come home to and many times, I have. He has been that safety net that everybody needs, when growing up. For months after moving in with Darren, he wouldn’t let my sister take over the bigger room, which was mine, in case I wanted to come back home. In his most recent move, I remember him telling my mom he needed 3 rooms and when asked why, he said because I should always feel like there is a space for me. And while I have gone on to get married and have my own child, the comfort of going home every now and then for lunch, when life gets hectic, was one of mine and Darren’s favourite things to do. With my dad, it’s just so easy. There is no expectation when visiting him, we can lose hours just talking nonsense around the table and enjoying one another’s company.
Life has always given me lemons but one of its greatest gifts was giving my parents an incredible friendship that would see stand strong through their divorce, always reminding us that family is far greater than living situations or a piece of paper. When my mom visits, rest assured my dad will be around, they’ll cook together, have a glass of wine and we’ll all chat about when I was a kid, or when Gabi was a baby. It’s great – it’s my happy place.
With him leaving soon, I can’ help but think how will the next occasion pan out. My sister will be in Cape Town so will my mom and her fly to PE, or will my mom go to Cape Town, missing out time with us, or if Gabi comes here – what about my dad? It just kind of feels like for the last 6 years, I have been living in the denial of my parents being divorced and now, it’s all coming down on me in one swell swoop.
Axl has really grown on Lu and my sister, he adores them both and becomes giddy when they arrive at the house. My dad calls him ‘young man’, they play cars and turn boxes into buses. We always spoke about how Lu would teach him to fish and I looked so very forward to that time of his life, filled with hours of bonding time with my dad – now, that all seems to disappear as he drives off to Cape Town.
It just sucks – and I am not holding it together. I know that it sounds stupid but I just grew used to the way things were and am not happy with the new changes. Yes, we will adjust. Yes, now Darren and I can visit Cape Town – a city which I love and have been dying to visit again, to meet so many faces from the interwebs but in all honesty, I am just not ready to lose my dad to an 8 hour drive, too.
I don’t really have any other family nearby. The family that I do have in PE are preoccupied with their own lives and haven’t really built a relationship with Axl or my husband. Sooo it kills that I am now losing out on my dad and sister.
Enough about that…
Axl is growing up so beautifully. When he was younger, I felt compelled to share every first but as I have matured in the mommy-hood, I have realized that some things are meant to just be embraced and enjoyed. To sometimes put down the camera and experience the moment, instead of always looking through a lens.
I have been really worried that with him always being at home with me, that he’d suck at socialising with kids. Let’s be upfront – I am not the most social person, being an introvert. I don’t want to put Axl in play-school just yet but with us not having any friends with children, I really don’t know how he’ll act in social situations. So lately, we’ve been going to restaurants with kids areas.
I am honestly thinking of starting a new series, featuring kid-friendly places in the Bay – what do you think?
I am so proud of how the way interacts, he shares toys and is so considerate of the people around him. He usually finds one person who he connects with and tags along but in all fairness, he plays well, he coos and ahhs and behaves like any other kid, only… he does occasionally growl at them.
He loves cars and balls – any ball! We bought him his first Hot Wheels, recently, which he loves zooming around with – I have every intention of growing that collection like the black plague.
His dogs have become his universe. They have grown quite attached to him, despite being dragged a long for walks around the yard. Java, who is my dog, has become very protective over him and even snuggles in next to him, when he goes down for a nap. When we’ve been out and get back home, Axl fights to be put down as we walk in, so that the dogs can jump up and lick him. Recently, I had put the dogs in a room and when we got home, Axl expected to be greeted by happy wagging tails, the confusion sunk in almost immediately to which he started running around, banging all the doors open, to find his doggies. He also knows who and what doggies are – when watching YouTube videos of other dogs, and we ask him where the doggies are, he will get up and find his own dogs.
He has also become very cuddly and lovable – I know that it is just a phase, and that it will pass but man, do I love those cuddles. At night, we lay wrapped up, while watching Big Hero 6 – his favourite movie at the moment. He plays with my hair and often pulls my face to his for a kiss. It’s an incredible thought, when you realize that you are the one who teaches them to love, to cuddle and to show affection.
Axl is no longer mommy’s boy – he has grown so incredibly fond of his dad. He still comes to me to be fed and comforted when there is a big bang, but for the most part he is very much his dad’s boy.
In case you were wondering what I do – I am a virtual assistant. I work for an american based company that specialises in gaming parties. In February, my boss of two years proposed we start a new company manufacturing gaming trailers like the one we hire out for events. At first, it seemed like a silly idea and wouldn’t last for longer than a day. But 3 months in, since our initial conversation and business is beginning to pick up. On Friday, we hand over our first gaming trailer – woooohooo! I am really thriving at juggling the two companies and the extra income isn’t too bad either.
What happened to Health and Fitness
Argh – I was at such a great point. I didn’t completely hate the idea of exercising and eating healthily became second nature. But then the house renovation happened and without a kitchen, limited time in the evenings (I work from 5-10pm) take aways became a matter of convenience and man – they’re cheap! I feel like I have fallen off the wagon BIG time and I need to somehow find that motivation again. I was content not eating chocolate every second day, not snacking continuously or eating carbs with every meal. Now I just feel that, that has been undone.
I need to get back to where I was, a month ago!
So that’s it for life lately, on my side. I will do another ‘What I am…’ post soon, and catch you all up on that. What’s your life been like lately?