It’s funny how I forgot just how tough these last few weeks of pregnancy can be. The tiredness, swollen feet, and general grumpiness were all manageable and I was quite happy to work and blog right up until the delivery of our little Eli James. But as health and the universe would have it, that’s become somewhat difficult.
Now, without going into too much detail or causing concern – I will say that both Eli and I are doing just fine. While this pregnancy has been riddled with tough times, our real complications only really popped up about 2 or 3 weeks ago, when my blood pressure started acting up. It’s cool, I sort of expected it all along, as that’s what happened with Axl.
However, last week, they decided that it would be best for me to start a round of meds and as much as I thought I was prepared for it, I truly wasn’t. I didn’t feel like the brave mom I had been fooling myself into thinking I am, instead, I came home, climbed into bed and wept because heck, my body is built for this – my health and everything had been so good right up until this point, and now, now I would have to go onto meds which would result in a number of side-effects, in addition to the usual 3rd trimester discomforts.
So, about a week ago, I decided that it was officially time to log off and listen to my doctor. It was time to, “take things slow” – a phrase that honestly annoys me. I don’t quite know how to do “slow”; I work a full-time job in digital marketing, run my blog and juggle motherhood. This is all I have ever known. Sure, I have been doing most of it from the comfort of my bed, but I was still going full steam ahead, sticking to content schedules, delivering campaigns, replying to emails, and doing what sets my soul on fire.
Personally, I struggle to say no to new opportunities, I hate letting anyone down even if it isn’t by their standard but that of my own – I have a high set of expectations for myself, and I am always willing to do what it takes to ensure I meet them. But my body just won’t have it anymore – it has let me down and many days, I feel like I have failed.
But I digress, the point of this post is to let you know that my blog is bound to be quieter than usual. I still have a few posts in the pipe works, which I am hoping to get up before Eli’s arrival but with my due date only 2 weeks away and the increasing amount of doctor’s visits, I can’t say how much of it will actually get done.
The last few months have been a whirlwind of emotions – I am sure that I will get around to writing about it eventually, once I have actually processed it all. But I have had my heart split to all corners of the world, while each of my dearest humans go through their own challenges whether it be health, overcoming grief, handling relationships or just trying their best to survive. I took on a new job which as much as I adore, I am always left questioning my own abilities – I just don’t feel like I am enough. I built a campaign that combined the input of several leading brands which took more late nights than I care to admit, but one that has made me so incredibly proud. And between it all, I grew a human, while keeping my toddler alive and being a partner to my husband in both business and life.
So here you have it life, I am ready for Eli’s arrival and until then, I will be bouncing on my yoga ball, listening to happy music and surrounding myself with as much goodness as I can. Did I mention that on Monday, I finally get to meet Lydia? The very person who I have shared every high and low with, for the last year and a half? I cannot wait to be united with the other half of my soul, because truly that is who she is, my soul sister. She’s crazy flying all the way from Jo’burg to PE, just to spend the day with me, but there will be hugs, coffee, selfies, and I am sure even some tears. I cannot wait!
Of course, I will still be on social media so be sure to follow me on Twitter and Instagram for updates on my pregnancy (or rather, the arrival of our baby boy), life and everything else. If you do need me for anything, feel free to drop me a DM on my socials or shoot me an email.