For those who have been following my blog for years, you (just like some friends and family) are probably wondering when we decided to go against our thing of only ever having one kid. If it were up to me, I’d probably have 8 or 12 kids. I love my family very much and I’d love to have a massive family. Have you ever watched Parenthood, Modern Family or The Middle? These are shows that remind me just how much I would love to have a big family.
Sadly, unlike scripted families in the TV shows that I love to watch, kids come at a price. I never really thought that we’d ever be financially alright to consider a second kid. SO many people kept telling us, “But you’ll always make a plan.” That’s the thing though, the practical side of us both didn’t want to have to make a plan, where my kids would suffer at the expense of my need for a bigger family. I want my kids to have unlimited opportunities, to go to good schools and conquer life the way that I could only dream of.
Sure, we’ve both had moments of broodiness – me, more than Darren – but with our new financial independence, a new home and finally feeling like we could do it all over again, it was Darren who finally broke the silence and suggested a second kid. You see, I have always thought about it, but when he also thought about it, I figured we were both in the right space and not just thinking with my ovaries.
In addition, Darren also contracted something called Epididymitis which is the rare infection of a sperm tube. It has been 11 long weeks of him struggling to bear the pain and some days, I wonder if there ever will be relief for him. We’ve been to countless doctors, he has been on about 8-11 different antibiotics and has even reverted back to natural medicines like Buchu and Tumeric, in hopes of discovering some magical cure. Sadly, there isn’t much research and at this point, it is teetering on chronic, which means he’ll be in this pain until his seventies. The infection runs the probability of infertility, and so when we did choose to start trying for a baby, it was almost bittersweet because I didn’t really know if it were at all possible. Hence, my little miracle kid.
I had to laugh because while Darren and I were discussing having a second kid, Axl started taking an interest in babies and would point out every baby in the mall. When a baby would cry, he would point at it and say, “Mom, baaaaaby!” Like, I had to just fix the baby. The night that I decided I was going to test to see if I was in fact pregnant, I actually asked Axl if there was a baby in my tummy, to which he responded by pulling my top up and kissing my tummy repeatedly and saying, “BABY!!”
Having a second kid is exciting, nerve wrecking but oh so wonderful. I am so excited to see how Axl adjusts to his new role of being a big brother and cannot wait to see the two of them grow up, together. I never really had the pillow forts or fights over toys because my sister and I are 10 years apart, so by the time she was speaking, I was texting. Darren is one of three kids, and I love just listening to the three of them share stories from school, camps, family holidays, Christmases, and what it was like growing up together.
I live for moments like those, and I am so glad that now Axl and our little jellybean will get to share those experiences too. They’ll roll their eyes at their annoying parents, fight over who gets to watch their show first, and pick on one another most days, but still they will have one another’s backs because that’s what siblings do.