If you had told me two months ago that I’d be writing this post, I would have laughed until I snorted, kicked the ground in embarrassment and then probably laughed some more. A few ‘life lately’ posts ago, I mentioned the indescribable loneliness that comes with having your family split all over the country and in the weeks to follow, I found myself in an unfamiliar place, but I kind of sort of like it.
Growing up, I had quite a few girl friends, but having attended 11 schools, you can only imagine how many of those girls I can still call friends. In high school, I had become a pro at building walls and never quite putting myself out there and whenever I did, I’d end up hurt because well… some girls can be mean and when they see the opportunity to strike, they tend to. But a couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Whatsapp group of like minded girls – let’s call them girl friends (for the sake of SEO, because I know how much this will make y’all cringe)
It hasn’t even been that long since this little group has formed but I can honestly say that in this short time, these women have restored my faith in “sisterhood” and it’s reminded me how the smallest gestures can make such a huge impact on someone’s day. Just the tiniest of belief in a person can make them soar, a reminder that they’re important or that someone is actually wanting to see them reach their goals can be the difference between them failing and succeeding.
These women have proven time and time again, that the difference in opinions, background and even distance doesn’t strain a friendship but that a mutual respect and the ability to put your own opinions aside long enough to listen, opens your mind and teaches you more lessons, than a lifetime of how-to videos. The fact that each woman is so distinctively different yet so supportive of the next, strikes me and makes me realize how much I neglected that sort of friendship but also how much I needed it.
There is so much doom and gloom surrounding us these days and if it’s not someone climbing on their high horse of feminism, it’s a bigot putting women down and in the midst of it all, we’ve forgotten that there still stands a nation of women who could really teach each other a thing or two and if you’re open to it, you might just find yourself really enjoying those things that you never even knew you were missing out on.
You may be inspired to try a new wine, read a new book, attempt a craft or embrace self-love. You may find girls you can swap clothes with because hell – you’ve accepted that your “skinny” jeans may not be all that realistic. You may even find someone who believes in you, especially on the days that you need it the most! You may find someone who loves jamming to “Sexy Eyes” as much as you do or someone who could do with a little love, nurturing and motivation to get them through the next few days.
Truth is, we’re so quick to let our insecurities stop us from engaging with other women or feel that by putting ourselves out there, we may look like the fool, that we’re closing ourselves from experiences like girl-trips or just having someone we can catch up with, after a long day. It is a sad reality but one we should be saying goodbye to, but how?
Why not start by smiling at the tired mom who has a tantruming 2 year old and who could really do with that knowing smile, that serves as reminds that this too shall pass. Why not tell a complete stranger what you like about her – her gorgeous curls, contagious laugh, big blue eyes or charming grin. Why not start by building each other up instead of looking for ways to break each other down?