02 Nov Life Lately: Finding balance in the circle of life
Sjoe, this little blog was pretty busy last week and then I just went radio silent (I will get to that later). I am not going to lie, the last 3 weeks have probably been my most productive in a while. It has been a long time since I have been able to post on the daily basis and still feel confident in my content. Awhile back I made the conscious decision that my blog would be about quality and not quantity and since then, I struggle to find that daily motivation to hit publish. I am well aware that there has been a lot of brand mention, reviews and what-not so I thought that I would take the time to reflect a little on what’s been up and happening lately.
This kid has grown into such a character. There is not a day that passes that he doesn’t amaze me with his intelligence and outgoing personality. He still struggles with his vocabulary and I often find myself comparing him to other kids his age (or older) but realize that there are numerous things to factor in. For instance, girl’s vocabulary develop a lot sooner than a boy’s. However, if you had to compare him to other kid’s his age, you’d be amazed by his ball skills, hand-eye co-ordination and problem solving abilities. I kind of have this feeling that one day, he’ll wake up and not stop talking, but until then… we are enjoying the gibberish, the odd word here and there and the incredible little fire-cracker, that he is.
He loves being outside, riding bikes, digging in the garden and getting his feet dirty but seriously hates his clothes or hands being dirty. Anyone who knew me as a kid is probably smiling like a fool, knowing that he gets that from me. I used to go through about 4 or 5 outfit changes a day because I couldn’t handle even a speck of dirt. He has become exceptionally tech-savy and knows how to unlock our phones, take photos and will never skip out on a selfie-opportunity. I know that this probably upsets some people but considering that both his parents are constantly working with tech, it comes as no surprise. I also realize just how much things is changing in schools. For instance, my sister’s school (my old primary school) has recently introduced iPads in the classroom. I figure that Axl knowing how to use these devices can’t hurt in the modern age.
He does all sorts of silly things from climbing in his wagon and trying to rock back and forth to move around, to using his little green chair to make a big escape. He is so quick at doing things too, and often I feel like I am just running behind him washing pen from the walls and mopping up muddy footprints. Mom life, ey?
His little games have also become a lot more imaginative. We often found ourselves in a game of cops and robbers, running around and shouting “bang-bang”! He has taken a serious liking to planes and makes the whooshing sound while zooming his little toy in the air. As soon as he hears a plane passing, he has to run outside and scream, “BYE!” before waving vigorously in the air. My mom bought him a book which includes little figurines of the Boov from the movie Home. It is one of his favourite movies. Depending on his mood, he will either bring each figurine around for a kiss or (and this happens more often than not) he lines up all the figurines and lies on top of all them while making rawr-ing sounds. OH! He also stands by our tree outside growling like a lion and “scratching” on the bark while looking up into the tree – I am still figuring out what that’s about!
He has learnt how far he can push me – oh and boy does he push! His current thing is climbing onto the kitchen counter. I can say “no”, “stop it”, “you have until three…” and only on three does he do this quick slide off the counter and sits giggling like it’s a game.
As much as I ooh and ahh over new babies and my Instagram feed which is drowning in beautiful baby bumps, I am loving this stage too much; the cheekiness, the wonder and the thrill of adventure, just everything, that I can’t even think about having another baby just yet. But I can’t say the same for daddy, who is beyond broody at this point.
If you follow me on Facebook and Instagram, I left a message that I’m taking some time off as Axl, Darren and myself all had the flu and that my cousin had a horrible bike accident. I won’t get too much into the detail of his injuries or the accident but will say that what I’ve learnt from this entire thing, though, is just how supportive people can be. My family is spread all across the country and a lot of us don’t speak at all. In fact, my cousin who is in hospital at the moment, hasn’t even met my husband or son. However, within minutes of the news breaking, we had a Whatsapp group where everyone could share updates but more importantly messages of support and love for both him and his family. It is refreshing to see people put their issues aside and work together.
My not so balanced life
Since I was a teenager, I have always been interested in self-discovery, finding your inner zen, exploring meditation and metaphysics. One of the exercises which has been playing on mind is called “The Circle of Balanced Life”. It’s a really simple activity where your life is divided into several categories, you rate it our of 10 on a dial by marking it with a dot and then connect all the dots. Ideally, you want to see a circle which means you somehow manage to balance out your life and then should work towards a higher rating so that ultimately you will have the perfectly balanced life when each category reaches a rating of 10.
So this is what my “circle” looks like, marked in black. The red just shows what you should be aiming for so whether you are a “3” or “9” at least you are balanced and can now focus on reaching a higher rating for each. I like this activity because it makes you take stock of your life and helps you priorities which parts need more attention.
I rated my personal growth high because I feel a sense of pride of what I have managed to achieve in the last year. There was a time where I felt very little worth, I didn’t study, no one was hiring and all that I could do was clean our 1 bedroom flat, bath our dogs and make a good dinner (and sometimes I even failed at that!) in time for D to get home. It took someone believing in me to start seeing my own worth and since then, I have been able to prioritize my dreams and goals and slowly work at achieving them. While it’s been rather tough to stay positive when Darren hasn’t had work in 2 or 3 months, I am still very grateful that we have been able to rely on my own income to carry us through comfortably. I have also managed to put things to rest from my past. From my parents divorce, to the abuse that got us there, to my mom, sister and me being stalked for 8 months, bullying throughout school and my dad choosing not to be part of my life – I have let it go. Sure, I can speak in great detail about it all, but it doesn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth like it once had. I never thought I would get to this point and I am rather happy about it.
I scored family low because I am feeling disconnected from them – not my immediate family, not Axl and D because they’re like a 9, but rather my sisters, grandparents, cousins and the lot. This is something that has bothered me for a while now. In essence, it comes down to them not always understanding my job and them thinking that I am avoiding spending time with them. You see, in the beginning, my work meant lying in bed, watching series and taking a call every now and then. But these days, my job is A LOT more demanding and the only day that Darren and I have free is Sundays. Sundays are usually split trying to keep everyone else happy, doing our weekly shopping and making time for us. There are also those days where I’d just like to be at home with my husband and kid and enjoy some quiet time, you know? Right now, I know that I should be spending the little time that I have with my sister, who is leaving for Cape Town after her exams. But time isn’t on my side and I am left feeling like a crappy person.
Work scored pretty high – Oh! man, Work has been so busy lately but it makes the job all the more enjoyable. I have been dealing with a special kind of stupid lately, comments like, “I can tell from your accent that you’re the manager.” Hmmmkay? I am the only employee so I wear the hat of many, but I doubt my accent has anything to do with it. The clocks change on Sunday which means that I start work an hour later. I like starting work an hour later, but I hate the idea of finishing an hour later too!
I can’t think of a time where we’ve been THIS busy – our next available weekend for bookings is a month away and I already have bookings lined up for January! I am hoping that things wind down for December but I won’t hold my breath as our 2nd company, which manufactures gaming trailers, will be heading to biggest franchising and business expo where businesses from all over America make the commute to Orlando, Florida and showcase some of the best businesses for potential clients to get a real feel of. We’re hoping that this will be the official take-off which will eventually see me having my own assistant, allowing me more time to focus on the important roles instead of dealing with the itsy bitsy time-consuming tasks. With the expo around the corner, we’re already speaking about me having to work from 4pm – 1:30am or so, depending on how busy the expo is. I will be managing the office and ensuring we still run things smoothly while emailing all the leads that our team meets at the expo. With that being said, I may be quiet the week of the 16th. (Sorry!)
Fun and recreation is somewhat in the middle. I still haven’t found a hobby as such, but I am thankful for this little space of the interwebs. My blog is time-consuming but it brings me so much joy, seeing things improving and taking shape. I made a few tweaks over the weekend and unless you’re a frequent visitor, I doubt you’ll notice much but it has put my OCD to rest, which is always great!
So that’s me taking stock of my life at the moment. For the most part, I am content, it’s just the rather low scoring categories that are nagging at me. If you’d like to try this activity too, you can find the clear sheet here. How do you beat the funk and balance life?