I lightly touched on the subject, in December, how the question of when we were planning on having our second kid kept popping up. It seems that it’s just one of those questions that follow “he is so cute”, “he looks just like Darren!” and “THOSE curls!” I used to give a polite smile and change the subject but these days, my ovaries are starting to feel the pressure, man!
To be honest, I didn’t know that this was a normal thing to ask but maybe that’s just because I’m not the type to ask about future plans for marriage, kids or what’s next in genuine fear of putting my foot in it and saying something wrong – I do that all too often! But it seems that everyone… And I mean everyone wants to know, when is the next one?
Axl is at a fabulous age and perhaps it’s because he has become so independent lately, or maybe it’s that people have noticed that I can use both hands to eat dinner again – a clear indication of the need for a new squishy red-faced bundle of pooping joy. Who knows what they see as actual indicators but I thought that I would address the question in the one way I feel the most comfortable doing so – a thought out blog post.
If Darren and I could have 12 kids, we would. We’d do it all over again and love every minute of it. I want sibling arguments that form indescribable bonds between my children. I want to know that when I die, they’ll always have one another. I want them to spend hours playing cars, splashing about and arguing about which cartoon to watch.
But not yet.
Right now, Axl is still co-sleeping as he is still breastfed, which I intend on doing until he is 2 years old. I have tried numerous bottles and he isn’t having it – I kind of think he’ll just take straight to a cup someday soon. He got rid of the dummy late December – HE just put it away one day. He hasn’t ever looked, cried or even asked for it. Actually, I’ve tried giving it to him to soothe himself, which just causes more distress as he feels he has to express that he sure in hell does not want this thing in his mouth! And I’m okay with that! It makes weaning a whole lot easier in the future, you know? But besides all that technical stuff and I guess the logistics. I’m enjoying this moment with him. I love that we can curl up on the couch together and watch a movie, I enjoy the love he gives mommy, the kisses he blows and the one on one time that we share daily.
Darren and I have spoken about having another kid. I think that we’ve both each had separate phases where we felt that it wasn’t for us. When I am dealing with Axl’s toddler tantrums, I always find myself wondering whether I’d cope with a second. I know that you just find a way, but sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom becomes overwhelming and to have 2 of them… will I survive or will I become an alcoholic? OH and pregnancy WITH a toddler. Potty training AND morning sickness?
Initially, mine and Darren’s concerns were all about finances – sure, we’d love 12 kids, but can we actually afford that? 12? Maybe not. But 2? Probably. When we had Axl, my job was just a little something that helped us get through each week. But now, my job is more than 2 thirds of our household income and I can very well see it being possible to have another kid, in the near future.
But as for the primary question of when, well… who knows? Darren and I believe that a 3-year gap is ideal (Axl is currently 1 year and 4 months old), so that gives us some planning time and make up our minds properly. I’d say that these days we lean more towards a yes… so we’ll see where this goes.