25 Aug Hard Lessons
Although my reports showed that I was school-smart, I have never been ‘street-smart.’
This weekend, over breakfast, Darren and I were discussing books, movies and series. Ultimately, he likes anything that reflects friends-forever like House (Wilson and House), How I met your Mother (the gang) and Criminal Minds (Garcia and Morgan). Me, on the other hand, I am a typical girl and want the happily ever after for the leading couple like in Vampire Diaries (Elena and Damon, Klaus and Caroline, Bonnie and Jeremy), New Girl (Schmidt and Cece), One Tree Hill (Nathan and Haley) and Lie to Me (Gillian and Cal). I just want everyone to be happy, nothing upset me more than when Reid’s (Criminal Minds) girlfriend was killed or worse, when that ass killed Hotchner’s wife, Haley. Even in Orange is the new Black, Alex and Piper seemed so happy, why did it all have to end???
Another time, Darren and I had been dating for awhile and I was asking about his millions of scars. He told me of each heroic tale, one which was about the HUGE scar just below his tummy. The story goes that one day, in his youth, he was sitting on the beach with friends, in the early hours of the morning, when he heard the screams of a woman, he turned to find two men man-handling a blonde. So he went to save her life and bashed this one’s face in, and then did whatever to that one. Once he had managed to free the screaming woman from the two men, he looked down to find he was stabbed.
Months later, we’re out celebrating my mom’s birthday with a huge group of her friends, many who have watched me grow up through the many stages of life and most happy to see that I am past the ’emo’ stage. Give me a beer and I will tell you about Darren’s tramp stamp (that is for another day) which is what was happening, before leading to the heroic tale of Darren’s belly scar. I shit you not, he laughed at me too, in front of everyone he tells me that the scar was really from his erupting appendix which they had to operate on, and the doctor did a bad job of stitching him up, leaving a huge, horrible scar.
Anyway, there is a point to all this naivety and innocence. This week, I have had to learn the hard lesson that no matter who they are or how much they mean to you, people will see the opportunity to take advantage of the person you are, if they have something to gain.
So here is what I’d like to say on behalf of all those who just believe the world poops butterflies…
- If you see worth in me – no matter how great or small – tell me that, because surely if you want me as part of your next venture, that means I have something to bring to the table.
- Don’t make it sound like you’re doing me any favours by having me part of your team, you asked me to be here (in your weird, manipulative way) and I have a job, a kid and several other things that I would much rather focus on.
- Pay me my worth – I don’t want this 70/30, 60/40 nonsense. My gran has always told me that, a labourer is worthy of his pay.
- If you want something but don’t want to sound like a bitch for taking it, tell me that you want it! Don’t play this condescending game of “you should take this top because it looks so much better on you, that colour brings out your eyes”, just because you want the OTHER top, and if I take this one… well, you’re left with the one you wanted initially.
- NEVER belittle me or what I do. I freakin work hard! Sure, you picture me to be sitting on my bed making phonecalls to organize parties – and I do – all while breastfeeding my overtired baby, trying to reach someone for a payment for tomorrow’s event, manage my calendar and my boss’s, handle the social media aspect of the company and answer every stupid question like, “Are you Australian, that accent sounds like it?”. During the day, I milk the little time that I do have to blog and shower and sometimes, I manage to eat but overall I am busy! There is a lot that you don’t see me doing, my time is just as valuable as yours!
- I may JUST be a mom, but I would much rather JUST be a mom than deal with people who are so small-minded that they think of me as JUST a mom.
So no, I am not going to change. I am going to continue being me, hoping that people are genuine, I will continue seeing the best in others and I will always want a happily ever after. And if you’re going to be that one person who takes advantage of me and the person that I am, that is okay! Sure, I will cry for an entire day and stuff my face with an Oreo chocolate, but I will wake-up and life will go on. I would’ve learnt a lesson but you… you will have to live with your decision to hurt the one person who always sees the silver lining. And that my friend, is more valuable than anything you could ever offer me.